Dustyhawk :: Broken Mirror

A group of graduates, well established in their careers, were talking at a reunion and decided to go visit their old university professor, now retired.

During their visit, the conversation turned to complaints about stress in their work and lives. Offering his guests hot chocolate, the professor went into the kitchen and returned with a large pot of hot chocolate and an assortment of cups - porcelain, glass, crystal, some plain looking, some expensive, some exquisite - telling them to help themselves to the hot chocolate.

When they all had a cup of hot chocolate in hand, the professor said, “Notice that all the nice looking, expensive cups were taken, leaving behind the plain and cheap ones. While it is normal for you to want only the best for yourselves, that is the source of your problems and stress.

And yet again it happens, it always does. Why does this always happen to him ? What has he done to deserve this ? Is it true that he is becoming his own worst enemy ? And that the truth is he is making himself a sacrificial lamb when no one else wants it ? Who are we to say as we race trough life seeking out meaning for it.

Many a times are we confused of what needs to be done. There are times when we know what is needed, yet we are powerless to do so. A change is what he needs and it is not want, rather a need. To change his ways, to change everything and yet we here are afraid of that change. For we are scared of revealing our true self as we have made this false image, a false persona to protect our brittleself.

And so on Christmas Day which is obviously today, Serge was hit by a bout of porcelain throne warming sessions that could in fact melt the north pole and flood the northern hemisphere. Yes folks, he fell sick today. Stricken with abdominal pains that churns the stomach in such a manner that it had sent him to the cold showers at least 15 times today.

The medicine of which he took was not so uber powerful as he had to take double the amount for it to work

Tonight completes the St. Francis Xavier triduum at the church located in Jalan Gasing. 3 days of mass, three days of soul searching. Contemplating what needs to be done, what wants to be done and also on what he has to do for his wants and needs for both self, friends and god. Humanity is such a terrible creature, when their life becomes easy, they will forget their roots.

For this very reason, Serge is where he is today. In ages long ago, he was religious but not a fanatical person. Then work began, slowly he lost touch with God; he had lost touch with the only omnipotent being that could make or break his career in a breath. Serge was oblivious to this junction of life, he once believed that he could do everything on his own. He believed beyond a shadow of a doubt that he was in charged of his own life, destiny and future.

There will always be a reason to believe that this upcoming year will be better than the last. And hopefully that this is true. He has not been going to church often in this year and because of that, he somehow feels empty and incomplete. Therefore when he starts graping in 14 days, he will take this opportunity to return back to God.

A god which he had forsaken, yet god did not forsake him at all. In life, we all need to crash out, we need to be hit so hard that we feel that god had indeed forsaken us. For it is within this precious and vulnerable moment, that we can truly understand the simplicity of god’s mind. Serge believes that it is so and with hope and trust and everything in between, something good will happen.

By definitive calculations, these are the remaining days of the god-forsaken tour of duty that kicks us in the ass. So much has come and gone within the span of 11 months, nevertheless we seat here and with our glasses raised to the sky, we know that shit will happen once again. Let this be something that last only for a brief moment, hoping upon hope that something good comes this way.

Though we do not know if it will be good or not, we believe in believing and even though we have said that, we are still in doubt about it. Doubt on the things of which he can do, things that he wants to do and things he needs to do. Confidence is something lacking within here, something we spoke about many entries ago.

Recently, Serge completed the series Tengen Toppa Gurren Lagann. This anime is somewhat nice but probably he will just watch it three times before he gets bored with it. For those who hasn’t watch it, he recommends that you do.

The inner secrets of the anime is as such, humanity will strive everyday even with all the challenges and despair placed upon them. For that is what it is to be human, to be one that is in the cycle of evolution. We fall we stand up. Need to go to space ? We built a spaceship. We do what we need to do to reach for the limitless sky. Our arms will always spread out wide and our minds coves the universe. There is nothing humanity cannot do.