Dustyhawk :: Broken Mirror

Times like this I wonder at myself, why do I look so calm on the outside but panicking like some maniacally insane fool on the inside?

The above was taken from a journal of someone known to Serge. For those who knows, shush be with you always.

Come to think of it, many of us has this fear. A fear to let people know what really is deep within our hearts. We have all been taught that looks does not matter but it is what is inside our heart that counts. In some aspect that holds very true, but in this materialistic world that we live in, face value counts for a lot of things. Make that it COUNTS for nearly everything.

Take for example life of a college student during presentation week. They don’t go to college dressed like slobs, they’ll come there to impress. Academically they maybe top of the class but if their outwardly composure is like shit, lecturers will treat them like shit. If their outwardly composure is like an angel but their inside is like some screwed up devil, the lecturers wouldn’t mind at all. For humans like pretty things, pretty outwardly things.

Why ? Why ? Why ?

Serge doesn’t really know why, but it can be our pride that is the causing factor for this. We fear that if we let people know how we truly feel, they in turn will use that fear against them. Who wouldn’t be afraid ? All of us has the hunter-gatherer instinct inside of us. We all are opportunistic sentient beings. Let’s take an event which has free stuff given out for an example. Most of us will do this, we will go there, wait in line like vultures just to get it.

In essence, we are all vultures. But because we do not want to show fear and/or our sadistic ways, we tend to hide it deep within ourselves. We do not want people to see how much we hurt inside as we fear them and we fear that we may hurt them by saying something that should not have been said.

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This entry was posted on Wednesday, February 28th, 2007 at 8:14 am and is filed under Personal, Philosophy/Religion, Relationship/Romance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.