Dustyhawk :: Broken Mirror

why do we love ? why do we hate? why are we so afraid ? emotional questions will always be part of us, this are things we cant answer for even if we tried there will be more questions than answers. How would Serge know ? How would that jackass bastard know ? Well he doesn’t know the right answer, but he believes in himself and what he sees. Believe in yourself, believe in your own powers,believe in your own strenght and then you will see that even God cant touch you. But todays entry isn’t about Serge’s struggle against his religion and believes. Today let us (that means Leo,Serge and Dustyhawk) talk about love…actually We three don’t know nuts about it but our good friend Nigel has written a very good article about love. Not love love, but love as the reason being of what it is.the reason being of love is as follows
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Why do we close our eyes when we sleep? When we cry? When we imagine? When we kiss? This is because the most beautiful thing in the world is unseen. We are all a little weird and life’s a little weird and when we find someone whose weirdness is compatible with ours, we join up with them and fall in mutual weirdness and call it love.

There are things that we never want to let go of, people we never want to leave behind, but keep in mind that letting go isn’t the end of the world,it’s the beginning of a new life. Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched and those who have tried. For only they can appreciate the importance of the people
who have touched their lives. A great love? It’s when you shed tears and still you care for him, it’s when he ignores you and still you long for him. It’s when he begins to love another and yet you still smile and say I’m happy for you.

If love fails, set yourself free, let your heart spread its wings and fly again. Remember you may find love and lose it, but when love dies, you never have to die with it. The strongest people are not those who always win but those who stand back up when they fall. Somehow along the course of life, you learn about yourself and realize
there should never be regrets, only a life long appreciation of the choices you’ve made.

A true friend understands when you say, I forgot, waits forever when you say, just a minute, stays when you say leave me alone, opens the door even before you knock and says can I come in? Loving is
not how you forget but how you forgive, not how you listen but how you understand, not what you see but how you feel, and not how you let go, but how you hold on. It’s more dangerous to weep inwardly rather than outwardly.

Outward tears can be wiped away while secret tears scar forever. In love, very rarely do we win but when love is true, even if you lose, you still win just for having the tingle of loving someone more
than you love yourself. There comes a time when we have to stop loving someone not because that person has stopped loving us but because we have found out that they’d be happier if we let go. If
you really love someone never let go, don’t believe that letting go means that you love best, instead fight for your love, that’s what true love is. It’s best to wait for the one you want than settle for one that’s available. Best to wait for the one you love than one who is around.
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This is good stuff folks, when Serge read this he knew he had to post it up. Anyway thanks Nigel.

how do you feel now ? how do you feel now, that you have totally stop going ? How do you feel deep inside of you serge? how do you feel ? are you happy ? or are you sad serge ? you have abandon the source of all hope, you abandon the church which you came into on your own. how do you feel ?

for those who know, for those who read, for those who knew serge since young, you will definitely know that he got baptised around the age of 15. a happy and memorable occasion for both serge’s mother and for himself particularly. and until recently that is 2 months ago, you will know serge as the guy over there who keeps his sunday free for church. yeah yeah, you know that but serge here just likes to repeat himself.

for 6+ years its the routine of church,charismatic and other churchly events. during those early years it was good. hell it was even better, since he was young fresh like a newt. the wonders of god amazing power and the love of his son jesus christ consume serge’s very soul. to a point that he seem rather fanatical. but not that much he assures you.

now as those infancy year has gone by, serge feels empty. natural like the human being that we are. serge began to wonder away. its not that he has totally abandon the church or anything like that, its just that he is taking a sabbatical on the reason he became a catholic. in the words of one priest, “do not worry if he leaves the church and joins another…God is letting him go on another road to him”.

this is what it is right now, this is what is happening. serge is a man of theory a man of science and philosophy. anyhow …God is God, Religion such as islam, christianity or hindhuism is the way we mortal beings pay homage to a being which we call God.

now serge is sure that many of you people will say have you lost your believe in god? HAHAHA, serge laughs at your question, he still believes in God, its just that the way he believes through the catholic church teaching is becoming less and more philosophical and using the limited boundaries of the human fraility. Once in awhile it is alright to be human.

serge knows and can feel that god is still with him, even though it seems like he has abandon the god which he found 7 years ago. he will go back to god, but on which path ?? which road ?? if only serge knew…but he will return that is for sure.

it’s 1405, directly infront of serge’s eyes is a 17″ monitor. which is now displaying the page known as blogdrive. Located at IBM TTDI, serge is now the working. Working ? On new years day ?yes yes, he is.

the calls for today is quite ok. nothing much to report on this end. Well its the first entry of the year of the month of the day of the year 2005. And with all new year that comes, comes the resolution of 2005. Resolution ? Heck if you knew serge well enough, resolution is something that he doesnt even implement at all.

resolutions. serge has made none, but he is keeping the commandments which he holds dearly. and those commandments are

::help those in trouble even though the person you help may not pay his/her debts back::

::I will protect you, I will never make you cry, even though you can’t repay me…I will be here::

this are serge’s commandments, this are the things that has never change. This is the creed. For all who knows serge, for all the things that he has done to you ….either intentionally or unintentionally, serge ask for your forgiveness. he pleads pardon for not being there, for not listening to your call, for not making the tears go away. forgive him for he is just human.