Dustyhawk :: Broken Mirror

remember the story about the little boy who’s toy boat was faraway from him, and the person who helped him started throwing pebbles in the water ? its a simple story with tremendous amounts of wisdom within.

we all know why the person threw the stone. it was to make ripples in the water so that the toy boat could return back to its rightful owner. of course the little boy didn’t know about it, and surely if you were the little kid i bet….i’m sure you’ll start crying or something.

like a ripple a single person or some events that happens effects the path and destiny of all, for all of us are intertwine by the threads of fate. but how is it intertwine ? we can never know.

as today was suppose to be the first day on our own, i was both happy and scared to start the work, being prepared and everything i went off to work. but since we had to be at the training room first, i went there.

0900 talk talk talk, good talk mind you. 1100, same thing. This mind of mine started to wonder when we will start work.i do enjoy customer service,that’s the main reason i work in this firm itself. soon the gospel was spoken. we are going live……on monday morning.

it seems that there are a few certain individuals in our batch who is not ready going on the floor on their own. asses. because of this few pebbles, the target by many of us to start taking calls today was sunk.

to make matters incredibly ludricous, all of us had to take an exam based on the tech support that is being used and about the products that is being used and promoted. i could have finish the tech support test if it wasnt for that bloody rule.

fornicative abyss, i had to follow the step by step guide in the intranet system. ARGHH, to make matters divinely unique…the server which is being hosted in sydney was slow. therefore a 10 question tech support test that should take about 30mins ended being a 2 and 1/2 hour exam.

i had to bloody use the intranet system,as i must follow the procedure !!! heck i only did about 6 questions before i gave my paper to the invigilator before taking the product test. now the product test was a fun shit. i miss out 4 questions but did the rest in under 5mins.

heh…hopefully i do well, since this counts in our money-making point system. oh with that in mind i need to go to the bank and open an account.

now back to those pebbles, just because of you people and i will say YOU people…we had to take a test and receive another evaluation before the people in the fishtank let us take calls.

from the moment we are born to the day we breath our last breathe, we are all in debt. it’s a debt we cannot run from. when we go to school we pay the school fees, when we are in college we pay the fees…and when we go to university we pay the fees and sometimes we pay back the loan which we have taken.

we are always in debt, no one can runaway from it. no matter how rich you are or how poor you might be, you will always owe someone. one way or another…you will owe someone. im not talking about debts of the money, but im talking about debts of the heart. debts of the money can always be repaid…sometimes on time…sometimes quite late. but for this kind of debt, you are able to pay it off.

whereelse for the debt of the heart, no one can ever repay it. as i read through one of my bloggerspherers… she said that as soon as she has enough cash she would like to spend it on her parents. I can not argue with her kind gesture to repay it at all. but thruth be told she can never repay the debt of the heart which her parents has spent.

for them (the parents), the money that they have spent on her…no matter how big or trivial, is probably the best investment they have ever make. and no parent…no good parent will ever want to get back the debt that the parents have made upon the child which the parents has bore from womb to adulthood …till the end of their journey on this planet

it’s a debt that cannot be paid no matter how hard you try. and seriously…can you repay the kindness of your parents ? well you might say sure…by giving them respect and such. but you know deep inside of you, the voice that calls out at night when you’re lonely…

what your parents have done for you when you are a naive infant to the successful adult that you are, you don’t even have words to speak up and speak out. the indescribable thanks to your parents can never be said.

this is a debt that cannot be repaid…i know, for i am always indebted by the sacrifice which has been done by my family for me.

as long as one acknowledges this….life is good.

im not sure why, but life for the time being is becoming too smooth flowing. Why complain you may ask ? well for me, it’s part of my habit. i find life weird when things go on too smoothly. i love to fall, not that much mind you. for life is like a box of chocolate..you really do not know what you’re gonna get. from milk chocolate to rum & raisins to liqourice, the endless taste and flavor is abundant.

and thus i must say that even though i love the smooth creamy taste of a milk chocolate, having too much of the same thing is rather icky. therefore a change of pace and taste is really fundamental to my well being both in the spiritual and physical sense. i love all of you people and i also hate all of you. ^_^

LOL, kidding kidding, you know how much i love you.

now let’s talk about something which i find rather disturbing and amazing, my mum. my mum is one of the greatest unsung hero/heroine i will ever know. and even though i try my best to pay the debts that she has done for my sake,for my dignity…for my pride, truth be told…i cant repay them all. not in this life time…not in the afterlife. i ….the Legendary Hero can never repay the debt.

with a tongue sharper than a sword and gentle as silk, i need to complain. i somehow wonder why,why is it that the sins of our father curses us all. seriously, in this society of ours, no matter how good you are no matter how established you have become…sometimes the sin of your father who may or may not be around, will continue to haunt you.

i know…i know this feeling. for i am experiencing this. i am experiencing the faults of my father. but what really saddens me is when other people is suffering the way i am. worst is when parents instill this hatred of others to their children. when their child talks to the person..the parents act kindly…but as soon as opportunity strikes..they will start scolding their son and/or daughter.

scolding them by saying to them, that the person’s father (or mother) is of a bad hat. why do parents do this ? can’t they see that the sins of the father belongs to the father and not to his offspring(s) ? why ?? if there was an answer to this..maybe …maybe we won’t be so frightened about that young child down the corner of that room,who’s father was a drug addict. we will not mark him for his fathers trangression.

if only…..

anger. its just like jealousy, if you use anger for the right stuff then it is alright. but if you use it for the wrong items….hell life will be painful. Serge has seen both of this anger potrayed in everyday life. both his own and also in the life of others. you maybe surprise,but dont be …Serge does get angry and does snap occasionally.

and snap he did at one of his co-workers. and that snapping anger was that of advice, for you see that person was such a lazy ass that he managed to burn the platinum strenght of Serge’s patience. something that no one else has ever done,said for a small few who knows how to push Serge’s buttons that is.

anyway, Serge believes that what he did to fellow co-worker was right, and the other half of Serge’s persona,Leo agrees as well. one thing must be admitted by Serge,is that he doesn’t like to scold people,he doesnt like to snap but there are times that the human body and soul can take so much. so much he says.

thus comes to the part of which Serge kneels down and say,to you whom knows me and to those who has finally begun to see me for who i am. i am just human like you. though there are times where i don’t seem to have a smile on my face nor a glimpse of happiness radiating from my eyes,forgive me for all the wrongs that i have done upon thee.

words such as these is rare from Serge. take note.