Dustyhawk :: Broken Mirror

Hmm…third post for the day, now than..what words of wisdom shall i dispense today ? I’m not exactly the best advice giver out there nor am i the person who’s shoulder is always soaking wet with all the sob stories you hear day in and day out.

Basically, i’m busy ranting on the fact that many people have come to conclusion that i am a nice guy. Nice ?? Well now, i suppose it is true to the point that i will risk my life for a friend. And it is also true that i’m a good listener. Heh heh, that last sentence ..was way off course, since it made my -ego- big.

But in the art of dispensing advice, am i that good ? Sure…once in a while, due to some strange impulses rushing into my neuron, i give advice. Not personal advice, but advice and sometimes counsel (according to one of my mates).

I’m really not sure, what you see in me or what is it about me that makes you feel safe when i’m around. I’m really not sure at all. But if all of this is making you safe and happy, Hell…I think i should stop complaining about this and do what i do best.

And that is to listen to your soul’s eternal cry, to lay your head on my shoulder….and as you cry your pain, as you soak my shirt with your tears…I WILL wiped away those tears, I WILL clear those aching eyes… I WILL LISTEN to your words, for sometimes i know how it is when you need someone to listen.

And when that person doesn’t listen, you start losing all sense of hope. For this reason, I WILL LISTEN. Though it will make me deaf, or annoy me… I WILL LISTEN. And as i listen to your words, to your heart… let me comfort you. Let me be the one who will be -here-,here as in emotionally -here-.

I PROMISE not to be like that person who’s always there physically yet emotionally that person is somewhere else. I PROMISE. For i’m telling you this, sometimes i cannot be there to wipe your tears, i cannot carry you when you hurt your knees….but, i will be -here- always in your heart.

This is where i reside, this is where i belong…in your heart.

Complain complain complain, that’s all you can do. If you earn even a cent complaining,hell you would be richer than Bill Gates. But since you don’t, why are you complaining like the little chicken who thought the sky was about to fall ?

Why? Why do you complain ? Do you complain because it’s a must ? A must to complain, for some higher authority gave you power to complain ? Or is it because it’s a necessity ? A necessity like how all of us needs to eat,drink,sleep …and all the daily chores we -humans- take for granted? Is this the reason why you complain ?

You complain so much that, it’s affect has fallen on deaf ears. It’s not that im rude or anything, im so use to your complains that i’ve built myself an immune system. Is there one day, that you won’t complain ? HAHAHA….if that day comes, i’m sure i’m in heaven…

Hell, You know what i said has it’s thruth. But maybe you should hear what i have said to you. But than again, you’re my parent. And with this title given to you by someone, you exercised the power and authority,that what you say is true to the point of “I AM ALWAYS RIGHT”.

Well, i want to be responsible…i want to know what it’s like to be wrong. It’s alright to let go off my hand. If you took your time to look behind you…You can see that this child of yours has grown up to be an adult, both in the physical and emotional aspect. Why won’t you let go of my hand ? Why won’t you let me fall ?

This i don’t understand, you want me to be responsible on the things i do. And yet, when i do those things,which somehow turn out bad, you complain. Complain to the point, that i feel you never really wanted me to be responsible for those things.

For some of us,who still lives with their parents, you know how it feels. The endless nagging,the complains. Maybe once in 2 weeks, you can hear a teaspoon full of praise. But during the other times, it’s just those words…. “You suppose to….Why didn’t You ?…. I told you…Look at what you’ve done,…”

I’m so amazed by it. But the worse part is, i complain as well….not as bad as parents,but i’m getting there. And that is something i’m fuckking scared off.

It’s bad enough when your parent tells you on how lazy you are and you have the traits of the parent’s former spouse. It gets worst when you have both the bad traits of your parents.

It’s so easy to learn the bad attribute, yet so hard to learn the good parts. I’m doing my best…i’m trying to run forward on that road filled with broken mirrors. But you got to let go off my hand. Taking things slowly is fine in some cases. But, i need to bleed. I want the mirror splinters to cut through my feet. I want to bleed and know.

The following post happen on the day that happen not today but the day before today. On the day before today,was like any other day that was before today except for the fact that I went out for 2 movies. It was a sudden event, Shaz who was on leave from work (i suppose) wanted to watch a movie on the day before today….so he contacted Stephanie and me. So thus i went off to Midvalley to watch the 2 movies which was plan….which was The Day After Tomorrow and Harry Potter And The Prisoner Of Azkaban. Anyway Shaz arrived first, followed by Stephanie and Veronica. Now,this was the amazing part of what happen on the day that was before today. Stephanie was busy introducing Veronica to Shaz and than me, during that point…i kinda asked Veronica, whom during that time i did not know her name, if i have seen her before. Surprisingly enough,the answer was a yes and she remembered my name =D. Anyway Shaz’s friend Fariz and Fariz’s mate Ken came. So than we went off to watch The Day After Tomorrow. The movie was really sweet in which Edrei wrote a real nice thought provoking post about it, which now i’m going to quote

::Everytime I watch a disaster movie, there is only one thing that comes to mind. Why doesn’t that happen in our lives? Ok fine, that sounded a more than a little bit sociopathic. But I guess that maybe there is always a part of me that always wanted something seriously catastrophic to happen to the world. Ok…that STILL didn’t come out right.

Let me elaborate further.

When you watch disaster movies that show the absolute destruction on a global scale…at some point there will always show parts of human will and determination to surpass all odds. So far so good. Then it hit me…you take a good look at the world we live in today.

You take a good look at it and tell me whether we seem to be heading on a nice track. You take a nice good look and tell me if you want your children to grow up knowing the world we live in today. Take a nice good look and tell me that if you HAD a choice…would you be willing to wake up everyday to the world you see around you?

Would you?

If I had my choice then I would be willing to wipe this slate clean. I would be willing to rebuild this sorry mess we are in and start afresh. I would be willing to put ALL of humanity in danger for the sole purpose of uniting us as one race…one species to overcome whatever crap we are about to encounter.

I mean think about it. Even without looking at the movies…what drives us to work together more than a common goal? What brings out the best and worst in us than the threat of our own survival…and even more so the survival of the entire human race. It’s not hard to imagine whether or not an asteroid hurtling towards us or the coming of the second ice age is going to bring us together.

You know it’s going to.

So maybe yeah…wiping the slate clean and starting afresh isn’t a bad idea after all. We learn from our mistakes, we don’t let it happen again, we become better. Imagine a well tended garden growing from start. It’s easier to control and maintain rather than one that’s grown wild with weeds. Same goes for us. With the ammount of cesspool we have accumalated, changing our world for the better isn’t exacty the 10 most easiest things to do.

So here’s secretly hoping for a global cataclysm.

Thankfully…it is not up to me to choose isn’t it? ::-Friday,June 4th,2004.

Well that’s the whole post,which is really fantastic and such. Anyway after that movie ,the rest of us minus Ken “rushed” back to watch Harry Potter. On the whole the movie was, what you consider a good show, not excellent…not terrible….just good. But if you’re a fan of the series, you will know that there are major flaws in the movie and this new director didn’t do justice to the movie at all.

It’s not that the show is terrible, but hell some parts which is crucial to the book itself was left out of the movie. Unlike the first two that was shown, this third installment fell short IMHO. Oh well to each his own. Hopefully the 4th installment would be directed by the original director.

Thus when the movie was over, Shaz went for his steam bath, Stephanie and Veronica went window shopping, thus Fariz and I was….well erm…looking at stuff. The both of us talk mostly about computers and rpg. Which was really fun since we were talking about Chrono Trigger and Chrono Cross. Which was two sweet games.

Anyway since Shaz was taking such a long time, I decided to follow Stephanie and Veronica, with Fariz in tow window shopping. Baaa!!

We left Midval around 2200, and went off to Kayu Api Nasi Kandar. During the journey, I contacted Marianne to join us there for food. Came home at about 2330++. And basically slept my butt of for the day that happen before today.

Thus that’s why i’m blogging today, on the events that happen on the day before today which sometimes we call “Yesterday”.

Louisa-VII is like any typical lady, if you know how to touch her…. feel her curves, and insert objects of pleasurement…she will purr nicely. But if you don’t, hell she’ll bitch-slap you with problems. I have treated Louisa-VII nicely, i’ve got the best stuff any girl will want. She likes to be pleasured in all 3 of her holes. But once in awhile…girls will have to go to the monthly pms ritual. Hell and during that period i feel so damn naked.

But tomorrow i will get some items to end the pms for good, i hope. This items will not make her pregnant or anything, and she’ll be happy. Need to get that to pleasure her systems which has been giving her a lot of problems.

Till than….Louisa is now naked, she’s wearing nothing….and she’s post-premenstrual now.